The Daughter-in-Law Rules

by Sally Shields

Right from the very start of my marriage, my mother-in-law and I seemed to get along really well.  We never met until over a year and one child into the marriage, because my husband's parents were unable to attend the wedding.  My relationship with my own mother became severely damaged during that first year of marriage and so it was during that time that my relationship with my mother-in-law flourished.  However, there came a time when those relationships were changed - about five years ago now.  My relationship and friendship with my own mother is stronger now than it has ever been and my relationship with my mother-in-law is strained, or at best merely civil.

Thanks to the author, Sally Shields, I was able to review The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-in-Law!  I was excited to know that "this book helps raise money for The National Breast Cancer Foundation whose mission is to save lives by increasing awareness of breast cancer through education and by providing mammograms for those in need."  (quote from correspondence with the author)

So having a rocky relationship with my mother-in-law I was eager to read this book and get the hings and tips this rule book would hopefully provide.  Nine or so pages in I said to my hubby, "I love this book."  Then the further I got in the more I was told to lie to my mother-in-law.  I was shocked and disgusted; I have a huge issue with lying.  I quit reading for a time but did eventually come back to the book and finished reading the rules.  As it turns out, the recommendations to lie were fairly well balanced with recommendations of truth and kindness.

I do not agree with lying - including half truths; I am more of a - if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all - type of person.  I will tend to let things slide off my back and deal with the issue on my end.  I guess I'm not big on confrontation.  If my mother-in-law and I have a disagreement, I choose not to call until I'm okay.  If we disagree on something, we just avoid the topic.  I don't tell her what she wants to hear.  I tell her my decision on an issue and leave it alone.

So what did I decide about those rules that suggested lying?  I came up with my own rules, as the author suggests.  (She even includes a worksheet for making your own rules.)  I decided to set boundaries instead of appeasing.

Overall, I found that the rules not only apply to my relationship with my mother-in-law but also with my interactions with people everywhere - my husband, my own mother, my friends and acquaintances, my children.  I understand that our relationships with our mothers-in-law are special relationships and do require some extra attention and effort, so this book is a good, fun way to work on that friendship; just modify each rule to suite your unique situation and moral standard.

You can purchase this book at Amazon.

A copy of this book was given to me for my opinions.
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The Daughter-in-Law Rules

by Sally Shields

Right from the very start of my marriage, my mother-in-law and I seemed to get along really well.  We never met until over a year and one child into the marriage, because my husband's parents were unable to attend the wedding.  My relationship with my own mother became severely damaged during that first year of marriage and so it was during that time that my relationship with my mother-in-law flourished.  However, there came a time when those relationships were changed - about five years ago now.  My relationship and friendship with my own mother is stronger now than it has ever been and my relationship with my mother-in-law is strained, or at best merely civil.

Thanks to the author, Sally Shields, I was able to review The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-in-Law!  I was excited to know that "this book helps raise money for The National Breast Cancer Foundation whose mission is to save lives by increasing awareness of breast cancer through education and by providing mammograms for those in need."  (quote from correspondence with the author)

So having a rocky relationship with my mother-in-law I was eager to read this book and get the hings and tips this rule book would hopefully provide.  Nine or so pages in I said to my hubby, "I love this book."  Then the further I got in the more I was told to lie to my mother-in-law.  I was shocked and disgusted; I have a huge issue with lying.  I quit reading for a time but did eventually come back to the book and finished reading the rules.  As it turns out, the recommendations to lie were fairly well balanced with recommendations of truth and kindness.

I do not agree with lying - including half truths; I am more of a - if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all - type of person.  I will tend to let things slide off my back and deal with the issue on my end.  I guess I'm not big on confrontation.  If my mother-in-law and I have a disagreement, I choose not to call until I'm okay.  If we disagree on something, we just avoid the topic.  I don't tell her what she wants to hear.  I tell her my decision on an issue and leave it alone.

So what did I decide about those rules that suggested lying?  I came up with my own rules, as the author suggests.  (She even includes a worksheet for making your own rules.)  I decided to set boundaries instead of appeasing.

Overall, I found that the rules not only apply to my relationship with my mother-in-law but also with my interactions with people everywhere - my husband, my own mother, my friends and acquaintances, my children.  I understand that our relationships with our mothers-in-law are special relationships and do require some extra attention and effort, so this book is a good, fun way to work on that friendship; just modify each rule to suite your unique situation and moral standard.

You can purchase this book at Amazon.

A copy of this book was given to me for my opinions.

I encourage you to go check them out and support this great cause.
]]> I was looking through some emails this morning and found a link to Lenox so I thought I'd check it out; I was very pleased to find that they give 10% of proceeds to Breast Cancer Awareness. Here are some of their products that are directly related to BCA.

I encourage you to go check them out and support this great cause.

Pink PedEgg productI don't know about you, but my feet are used a lot. I am always on them, chasing my 5 little ones and doing all that entails running our household. Pedicures and foot massages are few and far between, as much because I rarely slow down as because my dh isn't one to give them. For about 10 bucks, I could do that for myself and support finding a cure for breast cancer as well.

The PedEgg is a unique “egg” shaped foot file complete with over 135 stainless steel micro files to gently remove calluses and dead skin to give feet an incredible baby soft look and feel. Ergonomically designed to fit perfectly into the palm of the hand, it is easy and convenient to use. The PedEgg traps all skin shavings in a storage compartment to allow use anywhere with no mess.

You can buy PedEgg at www.PedEgg.com and at major mass retailers such as Walgreens, Wal-Mart, Bed Bath & Beyond, Target and CVS.
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Pink PedEgg productI don't know about you, but my feet are used a lot. I am always on them, chasing my 5 little ones and doing all that entails running our household. Pedicures and foot massages are few and far between, as much because I rarely slow down as because my dh isn't one to give them. For about 10 bucks, I could do that for myself and support finding a cure for breast cancer as well.

The PedEgg is a unique “egg” shaped foot file complete with over 135 stainless steel micro files to gently remove calluses and dead skin to give feet an incredible baby soft look and feel. Ergonomically designed to fit perfectly into the palm of the hand, it is easy and convenient to use. The PedEgg traps all skin shavings in a storage compartment to allow use anywhere with no mess.

You can buy PedEgg at www.PedEgg.com and at major mass retailers such as Walgreens, Wal-Mart, Bed Bath & Beyond, Target and CVS.

She is a mom of many. She was diagnosed when pregnant.

We love her so because she is such a trooper. Her life has been pretty tough (especially in the last few years) but she keeps on keeping on. She always has an encouraging word and is often a shoulder to cry on.

Since the family's move last December we haven't had her around much; she has internet on her phone but there is only so much one can do from a phone. She still gets her reviews in (she emails them to me and I get them posted) because she is dedicated to this blog, to the Divas and when she's dedicated and committed she does everything she can to fulfill her commitments.

Please stop by Pink Stinx and read her story.
]]> RE-POST REVIEW:

She is a mom of many. She was diagnosed when pregnant.

We love her so because she is such a trooper. Her life has been pretty tough (especially in the last few years) but she keeps on keeping on. She always has an encouraging word and is often a shoulder to cry on.

Since the family's move last December we haven't had her around much; she has internet on her phone but there is only so much one can do from a phone. She still gets her reviews in (she emails them to me and I get them posted) because she is dedicated to this blog, to the Divas and when she's dedicated and committed she does everything she can to fulfill her commitments.

Please stop by Pink Stinx and read her story.