Some of the Divas took the time to read and review the book: The Daughter-In-Law Rules by Sally Shields. You can read our reviews here. Now let's spend some time getting to know the author a little and a little more about the book itself.

Q: What is the concept behind the DIL Rules and how did you derive at that name?

Sally Shields: The Daughter-in-Law Rules is based on the 7th spiritual law of success, which is: the quickest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. By that I mean, be a loving, kind-hearted, sensitive person, and the world will reflect that back to you, even in the form of your mother-in-law! I loved that book The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. I patterned the Daughter-in-Law Rules on that book.

Q: When did you decide on writing as a career?

SS: Actually, the book took me less than a week to write! As the last thing I wrote was a paper in high school, I don't consider myself a writer per se. What I learned was that you only need two things to have a best selling book —a passion for your topic and a sincere desire to help people. To quote Robert Kiyosaki of Rich Dad, Poor Dad: "I didn't want to be the best writing author—rather I want to be the best SELLING author!" It was the marketing of the book that really intrigued me, so I use the 90-10 rule - I spent 10% of my time writing the book, and the other 90% of my time and energy marketing it.

Q: What motivated you to write the DIL Rules?

SS: Like most women, I got married and got a mother-in-law. But after a couple of years, I was left scratching my head, thinking, where is the manual for this?!!! I wrote to the ladies that wrote the bestselling book The Rules, and told them that since they helped all these women meet and marry the men of their dreams, they then needed to provide some advice on how to get along with the other woman in their man's life—his mom! These two authors told me it was the best idea they'd ever heard. I honestly just wanted some advice on the topic! "You should write it," they said. At first I thought they were crazy since the last thing I'd written was a term paper in high school English class! But, the gears started turning in my mind. So I started to jot down all the troublesome incidents that would pop into my head in regards to my MIL, and came up with a rule and a solution to deal with each and every one. When I put a few of these rules into practice (and saw that they actually worked) I thought maybe I could help save other young wives years of needless contention!

Q: Have you published any other work that you've written?

SS: I have three music books; Modern Jazz Piano (Hal Leonard, 2004), The Pianist’s Jammin’ Handbook and A Baker’s Dozen: 13 Jazz Etudes for the Intermediate Sight-Reader. I've also written The Collaborator Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Stay Friends with Your Co-Author as well as a poetry book called "A Pond Beneath the Moon.” And I’m currently working on two other books; The Million Dollar Author Club and Naturally Thin or Discipline? Insider Secrets of the Super-Slim.

Q: What makes you unique when compared to other authors?

SS: I am very focused on solving a problem in a very short period of time. I don't mind telling people what to do or how they should do it. Here's the Rule. Now do it. Sometimes people tell me that they don't want to do these rules because it seems like too much work. Then I give them the Dr. Phil answer which is, "Well, how's THAT workin' for ya?!!" These rules are problem-solution oriented so give them a try!

Q: What inspires your work?

SS: I love being creative and just coming up with stuff that I think will help people, or bring humor to a situation, while at the same time solving my own life's problems! My vision is now to create more harmony among mothers and daughters-in-law around the world while at the same time raising money for breast cancer. I am currently working with The Breast Cancer Research Foundation on a unique fundraising idea with Estee Lauder, who also supports breast cancer.

Q: Has your book been featured in any national publications or on television?

SS: Yes! I've been in Star Magazine, Girlfriendz, For the Bride, and Obvious Magazine. I've appeared twice on the nationally syndicated The Daily Buzz, Fox & Friends, Rachel Ray, Tyra Banks, BetterTV.com, as well as having appeared on Martha Stewart Whole Living Radio . As well, The DIL Rules was recommended as Book of the Week by Dr. Laura Schelssinger.

Q: Are you self-published or through a publishing house?

SS: I started off self-publishing with Outskirts Press, a print on demand company, but have re-released The DIL Rules under my own imprint, Safflower Publishing Inc. with a new cover, subtitle, foreword, interior design and illustrations, and am working on a DIL Rules board game and calendar.

Q: Who or what personally inspires you to push forth with your career?

SS: I've been a musician ever since I was a kid, and I just get a lot of energy from performing, speaking, being out there in the media and expressing my ideas in my unique way fuels and motivates me forward.

Q: Have your book sales been positively/negatively affected by the financial changes in the country and if so how you come up with ways to divert from it (if negative)?

SS: I notice that the more radio and TV appearances I do, I can keep the sales up. It seems to be more about continually letting people know about the book that makes more of a difference than the financial state of affairs. It would be fun to compare current sales to what it will be like when Obama whips this country back in shape eventually! :-)

Q: Do you have any events coming up that people should know about or book tours?

SS: As I have 2 small kids, I have been doing virtual book tours from home and doing national radio tours via telephone. I do some local book signings here in New York, and I speak at various events such as the ASJA, and the Catholic Writers Event asks me to speak at their events. I also do a weekly radio show called Blurb! that is a book contest for authors. For more information on how authors can apply to be on the show, check out BlurbRadio.com. As well, the head of the African Women’s Business Network has purchased the foreign rights to the DIL Rules and she has invited me over to speak in Lagos Nigeria sometime in 2010.

Q: What advice would you have for young entrepreneurs and authors?

SS: I would say keep it fun, because otherwise all those hours you put in wouldn't make any sense! And remember that there are only two elements that you need to succeed in any endeavor: a passion for your topic and a sincere desire to help people.

Q: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

SS: I see myself with my own reality show, as a Daughter-in-Law Rules seminar leader, a speaker at Bridal events, fundraiser and spokesperson for Breast Cancer fundraising, and continuing to partner with corporations such as Macys, David's Bridal 1-800-flowers, Estee Lauder, and Martha Stewart Weddings.

Q: Any final words of wisdom?

SS: Never give up on your dreams. You don't have to know the how, but focus on the why. Don't set limits and reach for the sky. Do positive affirmations morning and evening, and you will see your thoughts transform into things. You can manifest your desires by focusing on the things that you want. Don't give up because it takes a while for the universe to prepare the meal that you've ordered, but know that it is in the oven back there so make sure you don't leave the restaurant!

The Daughter-in-Law Rules

by Sally Shields

Right from the very start of my marriage, my mother-in-law and I seemed to get along really well.  We never met until over a year and one child into the marriage, because my husband's parents were unable to attend the wedding.  My relationship with my own mother became severely damaged during that first year of marriage and so it was during that time that my relationship with my mother-in-law flourished.  However, there came a time when those relationships were changed - about five years ago now.  My relationship and friendship with my own mother is stronger now than it has ever been and my relationship with my mother-in-law is strained, or at best merely civil.

Thanks to the author, Sally Shields, I was able to review The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-in-Law!  I was excited to know that "this book helps raise money for The National Breast Cancer Foundation whose mission is to save lives by increasing awareness of breast cancer through education and by providing mammograms for those in need."  (quote from correspondence with the author)

So having a rocky relationship with my mother-in-law I was eager to read this book and get the hings and tips this rule book would hopefully provide.  Nine or so pages in I said to my hubby, "I love this book."  Then the further I got in the more I was told to lie to my mother-in-law.  I was shocked and disgusted; I have a huge issue with lying.  I quit reading for a time but did eventually come back to the book and finished reading the rules.  As it turns out, the recommendations to lie were fairly well balanced with recommendations of truth and kindness.

I do not agree with lying - including half truths; I am more of a - if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all - type of person.  I will tend to let things slide off my back and deal with the issue on my end.  I guess I'm not big on confrontation.  If my mother-in-law and I have a disagreement, I choose not to call until I'm okay.  If we disagree on something, we just avoid the topic.  I don't tell her what she wants to hear.  I tell her my decision on an issue and leave it alone.

So what did I decide about those rules that suggested lying?  I came up with my own rules, as the author suggests.  (She even includes a worksheet for making your own rules.)  I decided to set boundaries instead of appeasing.

Overall, I found that the rules not only apply to my relationship with my mother-in-law but also with my interactions with people everywhere - my husband, my own mother, my friends and acquaintances, my children.  I understand that our relationships with our mothers-in-law are special relationships and do require some extra attention and effort, so this book is a good, fun way to work on that friendship; just modify each rule to suite your unique situation and moral standard.

You can purchase this book at Amazon.

A copy of this book was given to me for my opinions.